The Book of Glenn

Smarmy, Ridiculous, Stupid, Dumb Brainstorming Stuff (feat. Even Dumber Actual Articles)

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The Book of Glenn

The internal strife of a news staff member, Glenn Horne.

The internal strife of a news staff member, Glenn Horne.

Graphic by Glenn Horne

The internal strife of a news staff member, Glenn Horne.

Graphic by Glenn Horne

Graphic by Glenn Horne

The internal strife of a news staff member, Glenn Horne.

Glenn Horne, Staff Writer

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Glenn

How about a really good article about the worst movies of 2018? Or is that too, y’know, cliche (oof, gross, cliche)

 

Also Glenn

Wow, one idea is all you can come up with? You must be a real smart guy.

 

Glenn

Yeah? Well how about the BEST movies of 2018?

 

Also Glenn

No, god no. What’s wrong with you? I didn’t really see any good movies this year.

 

Glenn

Well isn’t that a big surprise. Look at you, the guy who doesn’t like anything…

 

Also Glenn

Hol’ up. No. That’s not true. All of my articles have been about things that I love 🙁

 

Glenn

You think that’s good enough? NO. Figure it out.

 

Also Glenn

Hmm… well I did an article about the BEST video games of last year… maybe follow it up with a sequel about the WORST?

 

Glenn

What are you? Hollywood? Come on. You can do better than that.

 

Also Glenn

I DON’T KNOW!!!! MOVIES ARE ALL I KNOW!!!!!!!!!

*unintelligible screeching*

 

Glenn

Ugh, god. You can’t ever be original can you? You know YouTube really well. DO that.

 

Also Glenn

No one gives a s**t about YouTube. Do something people like.

 

Glenn

But everything that I like, other people don’t like. There’s a pretty big issue here.

 

Also Glenn

Yooooo, okay, wait. Hang on, hang on, hang on… okay, so like. PewDiePie just got dethroned on YouTube, right? The once holy and high king is gone.

 

Glenn

Dude, what did I literally just say?

 

Also Glenn

No, no, no. Okay, listen though.

 

Glenn

No. Do something people like!! We need the views and appreciation 😉

 

Also Glenn

Me? Views and appreciation? Listen, if you want those two things I’m afraid you’re talking to the wrong person.

 

Glenn

I mean, I don’t really care who I’m talking to… just. Actually, y’know what people like?

 

Also Glenn

What…? *commence nervous laughter and also + sweating*

 

Glenn

People absolutely love it when they see someone constantly making fun of Trump!

 

Also Glenn

Noooooooo, no, no, no. Absolutely not. I’m not going to make fun of that punk a**, little chicken s**t piece of –

 

Glenn

*ahem*

 

Also Glenn

Okay, I see you’re point… but still, no. I don’t like talking politics.

 

Glenn

How about I do an article about Mr. Drumpf’s favorite movies of 2018?

 

Also Glenn

aGaIn WiTh ThE mOvIeS? Lay off it dude.

 

Glenn

I’m sorry!!!! J***s… you said, word for word “People absolutely love it when they see someone constantly making fun of Trump!” so if I s**t on his favorite movies I get the best of both worlds. Right?

 

Also Glenn

So you’re technically right… but I don’t know. That’s not exactly what I meant.

 

Glenn

Yeah, and? What’s your point?

 

Also Glenn

Idk… but no.

 

Glenn

Okay, so I see what you mean.

 

Also Glenn

Hey do you know what the definition of insanity is?

 

Glenn

Repeating something expecting different results.

 

Also Glenn

Yeah. Have you noticed how this conversation isn’t going anywhere?

 

Glenn

I mean…

 

Also Glenn

Yeah I have bad news for you buddy. I think I’ve made you insane.

 

Glenn

Understandable. Have a nice day.

 

Also Glenn

But wait… what’s your article going to be?

 

Glenn

I don’t know… probably an article about the worst movies of the year.